second.

i dont mind not sleeping tonight, i just hope i dont keep my family up with the loud tapping of the laptop keys..
i feel like i haven’t written in a long time and ive missed it. sometimes when you see things written or laid out in front of you, they seem to make so much more sense.
the reason i like to write a blog, is because not everyone knows about it.. you can keep it to yourself, which is not the reason many people keep a blog.
But i like the idea that, this blog is on the worldwide internet, and no ones reading it, no ones following it, its just mine.
i dont really care if anyone reads it either, because the internet seems to have become a place, where people are constantly aiming to impress eachother, the pressure to post a funny tweet i.e. JME although admittedly his tweets are funny, or to impress someone on facebook, with a pretty picture of yourself, or the amazing holiday you went on. Its like everyone always knows where everyone is..you can even check into places on facebook, so everyone can see where you are at that precise moment… its scary. sometimes i wish we could go back to the days before, facebook, twitter, msn, blackberry messenger etc, even mobile phones. and just be old fashioned about things, things were better old fashioned.. you would know if someone really wanted to see you because they would go to your house, or call up your house phone..you would arrange things properly. being able to get hold of people all the time nowadays is not healthy, its an environment obsessed with artificial communication, and lacking in real life social skills.
If i had a pound for the amount of times facebook comes up in conversation in one day, id be doing quite well for myself.

skin & bone

anger fades over time, you know what you’re doing & i keep going back - i just don’t know why. i hate ultimatums, but it seems like the right time to say i’m not gonna be here forever…you need to make up your mind - otherwise i’m moving on & i’m leaving you behind. you make me into a girl i don’t want to be, but the reason can’t just be because i’m attracted to you physically some believe people can change some believe people don’t i don’t know what to think about you…either you will or you won’t a familiar lyric repeats ‘don’t mug yourself’ but i’m so confused with you & i refuse to risk hurting myself cold words said, that i really don’t mean - but if i was honest with you, would you mirror the feeling? at the same time theres a numbness, where my heart may aswell be made of stone, to defeat my achilles heel, i need to remember we are all only skin & bone.

i's a shame i can't sing

easy to write the words, but i want to accompany them with a sound, things that i can listen to on a record player whilst watching the record spin round - its a shame i can’t sing

confused by life & all its plays love,lost,gained,the chase,the rise the fall, the pick up, the brawl,the truth, the lies, the loved & the despised. you’d think with all this change i wouldn’t predict a thing, yet lately things have been happening so obviously, so rapidly

the days merge into one. & i can’t remember when i saw you last, one day the suns shining the next its over cast & soon you cast a shadow over me, so quiet, i feel you breathing.

i feel your chest on my back & your arms tightly around me - never let me go, stay. here.

i fall asleep, you leave… i wake up in the morrows - i wonder if you’ve forgotten me? i feel my heart, its beating but i know its been borrowed, & i don’t know when i’ll be getting it back