control - 28th October 09

its one of the worst feelings to feel like you have no control over your life.
it makes me wonder whether everything has been decided for us?
at what point is it ok to say 'wait, i want to do something for me, for once'?
the fact is, is that someone is always going to have something to say, nomatter what you decide.
someone is always going to disagree. you cant please everyone.
but saying that, if you decide only to please yourself and dont think of the consequences of what others may think, you risk either; losing their respect, or possibly jeopardizing relationships that are important to you.
what is the best way to live?
what makes us happy, should dominate our lives, but sometimes the things that make us happy aren't always the best things for you in the long run. Its so hard to think of the future when theres so much going on in the present.
i hate making bad decisions.
i want to feel in control again, this helps.

123 am

5 days of freedom, 10 days of loss
a new brick wall, covered in moss
serendipity & pity go hand in hand
why choose to write your troubles in the sand?
for hope incoming tides pull them in its strong arms
to the depths of the ocean
and when in need why make a cup of tea
does it make it any better?
comforting. a hot mug, burning your palms
you cant caress it, hold it by the handle
too hot too drink. burnt tongue
clones are strung, along only to fall into a deep pit of conformity
they all wanna make it big in the city
when will i get somewhere
doubt in your work is inevitable

7909

stealing glances while the girl was oblivious
(receiving) a vacant stare, a silent cry
hidden emotion, perservering to crack skins surface
and reach the flesh.
yet proving too weak, to break through, impossible
modern love blooming, an awkward brush, a loud gulp, a shy sip
hot breath on my neck
do i have your phone number? check

escapism

escape isnt a luxury,
for me its a necessity.
find it somewhere, anywhere
what will it be today?
stranger taking u somewhere new.
something else..
i know all about escape
i was brought up on it.
do honesty & expression always end in disaster.?

little thoughts.

Agreeing to be misunderstood.

you win some, you lose most.
passion burning throught your body, doesnt seem to translate to thers.
how does it come across?
how can you express yourself in a selfabsorbed world of hypocrites and liars?
everyones co-existing with something on their mind. permanently distracted.
what matters to some, matters to none.
finally you succumb (agreeing to be misunderstood) among your peers.
and say take my work as you will,
noone will ever understand your desire to be understood and the opposite of alone